


So Are We

by rayel



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 05:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5035174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayel/pseuds/rayel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Locus gets the text at two in the morning. He looks at his phone, wondering who would be contacting him this late - though he has a good idea - and his suspicions are confirmed when he sees Felix’s name. <i>"Can you come pick me up?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	So Are We

**Author's Note:**

  * For [synnesai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/synnesai/gifts).



> Based on [this art](http://synnesai.tumblr.com/post/128361438640/how-dare-we-sit-quietly-and-watch-the-world-pass) by [synnesai](http://synnesai.tumblr.com/).

Locus gets a text at two in the morning and he’s only up this late because he has a paper due the next day. He had neglected to edit it till now, social obligations and a promising job interview had kept him busy.

He looks at his phone, wondering who would be contacting him this late - though he has a good idea - and his suspicions are confirmed when he sees Felix’s name. Locus sighs and leans back in his computer chair, stretching and yawning as he reads the message. He knows from experience if Felix is involved he won’t be getting anymore work done tonight 

_**Felix:** Can you pick me up?_ , it reads. Locus frowns and saves his document and types back. 

_**Locus:** Where and why? You realize what time it is right?_

_**Felix:** I’m on 40th and Denver and yes I can fucking read. Just come pick me up ok? Hurry. _

Then a second later, _Please._

It’s the ‘hurry, please’ bit that makes Locus take this more seriously than he usually would and it chips away at some of his ire towards Felix. He sighs and gets up, looking for a coat and since this is Felix, grabs another one before finding his wallet and keys. 

The university is dark and silent. Only a few students mill about as Locus heads towards the parking lot where he left his car. It’s a chilly night, the rain finally stopping till tomorrow Locus is sure. Everything is wet and the lights make everything glisten and glitter. Locus likes it, though he didn’t appreciate walking around all day with wet socks. 

He prefers to stay in when it rains; that sort of weather generally makes him sleepy. He usually sleeps well when the weather is cold and grey and he’s sure that says _something_ about his character. 

He wonders why Felix is out this late and if he was out when it was pouring. He worries, unneededly so, Felix can take care of himself. But Locus cares about the other man even if most of the time Felix drives him up the wall. It goes both ways though. Felix has often expressed his dislike for certain things Locus does that Locus has no intention of ever changing. Despite their differences, they get along well together and often their fights are shallow and superficial. Something easy and expected that leaves Felix smiling and Locus content, if a little exasperated at times. 

Once Locus finds his car, it’s a short drive to where Felix said he was hanging around. Locus has the radio on low to fill the silence as he drives, the whole world seeming to be asleep. Locus sees the street sign read ‘Denver’ and he pulls over to the side, reaching for his phone to call Felix. 

On the third ring, Felix answers. “Are you here?” 

“I’m pulled over. Where are you? What are you in front of?” Locus asks and gets out of the car to stand and look around. The streets are empty, still wet from the rain earlier. The wind is blowing softly, Locus brushes aside a few loose bangs from his view as they get blown into his face. 

“I see you. I’ll walk to you.” Felix says and the line cuts. Locus stays there, leaning on his car door with one leg still in when he sees Felix emerge from the side of a building. As predicted, Felix is just wearing a shirt and jeans. A black backpack strapped tightly to his back as per his preference. Locus clicks his tongue and reaches back inside for the extra jacket. When Felix approaches, Locus notices how tired Felix looks and that his lip is split. “Hey.” Felix smiles anyway, the wound pulling. He doesn’t flinch. 

Locus tosses the jacket towards Felix which he happily catches and pulls on after removing his backpack. It’s big on him, the sleeves covering his hands and Felix pushes them up to his elbows. “What happened? Are you ok?” Locus asks. 

Felix laughs a bit and walks around to the passenger’s side to get in. Locus follows, closing the driver’s door but doesn’t move to drive away. “I’m fine,” Felix dismisses, backpack at his feet. “Can we stop somewhere to get something to eat?” he asks, looking everywhere but at Locus. 

Locus sighs and reaches out, finger under Felix’s chin to turn his face towards him. Felix puts up a small fight, but ultimately lets Locus. He still averts his eyes. Locus’s frown deepens, “What happened?” he asks again. The cut at Felix’s lip isn’t bad, but blood has dried around it and he would still like to at least get it cleaned. He can see the start of a bruise forming at the top of Felix’s cheek and he ghosts a finger over the mark. 

For a moment Locus thinks Felix will push his hands away and avoid the question, but to his surprise Felix just sighs and mutters, “I got in a fight, OK? Can we go? Or do you want my whole life story?” He’s irritable now. If Felix is dragging him out this late he feels he deserves some explanation. But the almost petulant look on Felix’s face makes him resign. 

Locus decides to give Felix some slack for now, the ‘please’ from earlier still rattling around in his head. Felix rarely pleas for anything, always just expecting people to give in to his demands. And to most people’s surprise, they do give in. Locus has since stopped being amazed at this innate ability Felix has to charm anyone and everyone he comes into contact with and just sits back and watch in amusement. 

He rights himself in his seat and turns off the emergency lights and starts to pull away, “Jack in the Box ok?” he asks and Felix slumps back in his seat. 

“Yeah.” he says and Locus thinks that will be it till he hears, “Thank you.” spoken quietly. 

Locus doesn’t answer, he wasn’t supposed to hear that. He knows that by now. He knows how to read in-between the lines; the things Felix does and doesn’t say. So he says, “Did you win at least? The fight I mean.” 

Felix snorts, a good sign, “Yeah I did. What kind of question is that? It’s why I’m still here and they. Well. They got what they had coming.” 

Locus hums, debating if he should ask for more or wait. He decides to wait till Felix has food in him to press for more. He’s always in a better mood after a good meal, Locus has found. The radio once again fills in the silence as Locus takes them to the nearest Jack in the Box and they only pass one other car the whole way. 

When Locus pulls through to the driveway, Felix unbuckles himself and leans across Locus’s lap, hands bracing where the window slides down to. By now he’s used to Felix doing this, but it still makes him blush. It makes him drop his hands from the steering wheel and into his laps. It would be too easy to touch, to lean forward and nose at Felix’s neck. Locus looks away and sighs as if he hates it. 

“Welcome to Jack in the Box, would you like to try our new caramel lava cake? Only a dollar to your order.” comes the tired, but cheerful voice of someone who is unlucky enough to land the late shift. 

Felix licks his lips, “Sure. Can I get a number seven with that too? Coke, curly fries, large, and throw in six tacos too.” He says loudly and shifts to look at Locus, “You?” 

Locus shakes his head, pauses, and says, “Coffee.” 

Felix turns back to the open window, “Large coffee, you do large right? Can you put it in a large cup? I’ll pay for it, please? Yeah. Coffee, five things of sugar, extra milk. Be generous about it.” he says, knowing how Locus takes his coffee. At least, fast food coffee. 

When the order is put through, Felix sits back and hands Locus a twenty to cover the order. Their fingers brush, but no one says anything. Locus pays and hands Felix everything, more grateful for his coffee at this point. When they drive away and Felix is several bites into his sandwich, he says, “Let’s go to Adarha.” 

Locus waits till they’re at a red light to slowly look at Felix, “That’s a five hour drive.” 

Felix looks at him, “So? Let’s go.” The light turns green, but Locus doesn’t go. They stare at each other for a few seconds and Felix looks forward, “The light’s green you know.” he says with a nod, still chewing, condescending in his own way. 

“That’s a _five hour drive_.” Locus says again, pointedly. 

Felix sighs and sits up in his seat. He drops his hand into his lap, the one holding his sandwich, and looks at Locus. He swallows his food this time before speaking, “You said that and I know. I know. But please? Can we go there? It’s been awhile, right? I just want to go there.” He says and it’s not a very strong argument. 

Locus stares at Felix and twists his grip on the steering wheel. He sighs, slowly, looking at a point somewhere over Felix’s shoulder. It’s always like this. Felix asks something impossible of Locus and Locus does the impossible. Though he never minds doing things for the other man and that should concern him. In the beginning it did, but now he doesn’t mind at all. He’d bring down the moon for Felix; he would just have to ask. 

Locus sighs slowly and looks back at Felix, “If we go, are you going to tell me what happened tonight? Who punched you and why you suddenly want take a five hour drive to Adarha? We could just go to my place and go in the morning at least, till I slept a bit. I want to look at your lip too.” 

Felix shakes his head, “No I want to go now.” There’s something left unsaid that hangs in the air from the pause Felix takes.What Felix doesn’t say, but wants to. He takes a sip of his drink, “It’s been awhile.” he says again. 

Locus sighs once more, sitting forward and tapping a finger on the steering wheel. He runs the red light suddenly as he makes up his mind and mutters, “The things I do for you.” 

Felix smiles, a true smile that Locus is more used to seeing, and laughs lightly, “You love me.” 

Locus doesn’t agree out loud. 

* * *

Locus does pull over at a CVS to get a small first aid kit, a few bottles of water, and snacks for the drive. Felix tries on cheap sunglasses as Locus does the shopping, posing for Locus whenever he walks by. They laugh and Felix takes pictures of himself in each pair he tries on.. He wears one at the checkout and Locus ends up buying it for Felix. It’s an ugly looking thing with pink rims. He keeps them on as they go back into the car. 

“It’s night, take those off.” Locus says as he dumps the bags in the back seat. 

“Nah.” Felix smiles. Locus rolls his eyes and takes the first aid kit out and sets it in his lap. 

“Come here.” Locus orders and opens the lid to find the disinfectant wipes. Felix does so without a fight, which makes Locus raise a brow, but he won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. They’re both quiet while Locus gently wipes at Felix’s lip, removing the dried blood and making the cut bleed again. His hands are warm on Felix’s face, fingers gentle and soft as they direct him towards the car light above them. 

Felix watches Locus’s face the whole while through the cheap plastic of his sunglasses. He takes in the small concerned frown, how tired Locus look, albeit alert. Locus’s hair is messy, a few strands of hair falling from his bun. Despite having his fake sunglasses on, he looks away when Locus looks at him in the eyes. 

Locus applies a liquid bandage to the cut and blows gently. That’s about all Felix's nerves can take and jerks back, looking away as his face heats up. “Thanks,” he mumbles and pretends to mess with the seat belt. Locus cleans up, throwing all the trash away before starting the car back up for their small impromptu trip to Adarha. 

When they pull onto the freeway, Locus speaks up over the soft lull of the radio, “Any particular reason you suddenly want to go to Adarha?” 

Felix is quiet and for a moment Locus thinks he’s asleep. He looks over and sees Felix sitting with his arms crossed and head tilted towards the window. Locus is ready to accept that Felix doesn’t want to talk when he sighs and sits up to lean back on the seat, “Just...it’s been awhile. I’ve been thinking also. A lot lately. I thought when was the last time anything made sense and. Well.” 

When Felix doesn’t go on, Locus switches lanes and prompts him, “Well?” 

Felix laughs a bit, a sound of air being pushed out, “And well I thought to myself that I can’t take it anymore.” he mumbles just barely over the sound of the car. Locus glances at him. A million things rush through his mind. Take what anymore? 

Adarha is their hometown. They both signed up for the same college a few cities over together when high school was coming to an end. It’s not like there was anything bad about Adarha, just it feels like a lifetime ago. It’s a fond memory, that town, so it's odd in a way to be going back there so suddenly. Absently, Locus wonders if he should stop by to see his folks, but that's another adventure he's not really ready for. At least not so early in the morning. Felix leans up to fiddle with the radio, putting in one of the many CD's he keeps in Locus's car. He sits back, hands in his lap properly. 

Between them their drinks sit where usually their hands would rest, but never touch. Locus has always liked it, that weird space in between where he knows he could move forward, but becomes too scared to do it. He wonders if Felix feels it too, if he likes it. If he even cares or has noticed it like him. Locus moves to pick up his coffee, gone a bit cold now, and drinks, “Who hit you?” he asks. 

“Who do you think?” Felix mutters. 

Locus speeds up without knowing it, irritation building, “I thought you broke up with him?” he snaps. 

Felix snorts, “I did! You know I did! Fuck, he met up with me after work and wanted to talk. So I said OK.” he explains. Locus looks at Felix and tries to calm down. He feel more upset that Nic punched Felix than anything. He feels upset that he wasn’t there _to_ punch Nic back. He knows Felix can handle himself, has seen it many times, but still. Felix is his friend, his- 

“We went out to dinner and I thought you know, that would be it, but then we went out for drinks.” Felix continuing with the story makes Locus snap out of his own thoughts and he finally registers the speed he’s going at. Near eighty. He slows down. 

“Drinks.” Locus says flatly. He doesn’t want to name or recognize the feeling of jealousy, envy, building at the back of his throat like a thick film. 

“Yeah, drinks. Anyway, he wanted to get back together.” 

Locus sighs, “Tell me you didn’t-” 

”Fuck no! I told him it was over and it is. I guess maybe because we were drinking- maybe he thought I’d be easier to convince when drunk-” 

Locus barks out a laugh, “That incredibly self centered- he tried to get you drunk to get back together? You do realize that’s- coercion or something worse.” Locus exclaims, words escaping him. 

Felix slides down his seat, “You don’t think I know that? I said no, we got into a shouting match that lasted forever and then he punched me. I punched him back. Fuck, my face.” Felix mutters and touches the side of his face that’s bruising. 

Locus never approved of Nic. When Felix introduced them, Locus was dubious and remained so. He was only ever courteous because Nic seemed to make Felix happy and that’s all Locus cared about. It was sort of a shock when Felix said he had a boyfriend. He had told Felix then that he was surprised someone could tolerate him and Felix just playfully punched his arm, telling Locus that he was a ‘motherfucking delight, thanks.’ 

“Is he still bothering you?” Locus inquires. 

”No, I made sure of it. You know me.” Felix mumbles and sighs, reaching between his feet to pull out a bottle of soda and drinks from it. 

Locus does know Felix. When they were in high school still, Felix could never learn to keep his mouth shut and thus ended up in quite a lot of fights. Sometimes Locus would get dragged into them too, only because five against one wasn’t really fair and the two of them were notorious for being in and out of the principal’s office. 

His mother had worried, had tried to warn Locus away from Felix. “He’s no good, he’ll drag you down. Then where will you be?” she asked him on his fifth call home. “Stay away from that boy, that maddening boy. Isn’t his father that drunk? Oh Locus, please, find better friends.” she had said with a hand on her face. Felix's father wasn't a drunk, actually quite the opposite. Felix came from a good home, but his mother seemed to have thought otherwise. In the end, Locus didn’t listen because when he’d see Felix the next day, he’d smile at Locus like he was proud of them, _him_ , and say ‘good fight’ and drag him off to somewhere else. 

Their next grand adventure. 

Now twenty five, on the cusp of graduating college, and hours away from his hometown, Locus is still by Felix’s side and though their adventures are far and few between, there are times like now that Locus orbits back into Felix’s gravitational pull. 

He finds he doesn’t mind when this happens. In fact he looks forward to it. 

Locus sighs, shakes his head slightly, “If he gives you trouble again, call me.” he says firmly. “I can’t believe he _hit you_ , Felix.” Locus shakes his head, feeling amped up. 

Felix laughs a bit, “Gonna do something about it?” 

Locus grunts, “I’m bigger than him.” 

He doesn’t have to look at Felix to feel the small smirk that pulls at his split lip, “I’m so sure you are.” he says with a lilt. Locus snorts. 

“Not what I meant.” 

“Isn’t it? You can pull it out now and I’ll compare.” 

Locus doesn’t really blush, but his hands tighten just a bit on the steering wheel. It’s always like this. The weird line between them, the suggestive tone that Locus doesn’t know how to take, how to read. Felix throws those kinds of remarks at everyone, so Locus doesn’t take it personally. Still, it doesn’t stop the slow burn that settles somewhere in his chest and makes his throat tighten. “Are you offering?” he asks with a quick glance to Felix. 

With a grin and shake of his head, Felix sits back, “Maybe later.” he says as if declining a meal, too caught up in watching TV. 

The comfortable silence settles between them again. It’s about two hours into their five hour drive. There’s more cars on the freeway now, nearing five in the morning. Felix dozes off now and then. When he is awake, he takes to looking at Locus through the reflection of his window. 

His left hand twitches on the edge of his seat and he moves it to his lap, away from Locus who has one hand on the gear shift, the other on the wheel. If he wanted to, he could easily reach over and hold his hand and Locus would let him. He would probably give Felix a strange look, but curl his fingers around Felix’s slightly smaller hand. 

It’s tempting and he almost gives in. 

Felix watches a car speed by. 

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this drive.” he says after a moment more. 

Locus laughs, “You wanted to.” 

“I know, I just can’t believe we’re doing it or that you even agreed.” Felix sits up and turns so his back is mostly leaning on the door, his seat belt unbuckled an hour ago despite Locus’s warnings. 

Locus hums, “I could never deny you.” Felix’s smiles softens, something intimate and fond. Locus looks at Felix and startles, surprised to be on the receiving end of such a look. “What?” he asks, looking away again. 

“Nothing. Just. It’s true.” Felix says, picking idly at the ends of the jacket sleeves. It smells heavily of Locus. It’s comforting. “You do everything I ask you to.” 

Locus laughs again, sighing, “Well.” he says, but doesn’t continue. 

“Why?” Felix prompts, crossing a bridge they’ve always started to cross together, but turned back around every time. He looks at Locus, waiting for an answer and thinks maybe this isn’t the time, again, before Locus sits up a bit straighter. 

”Because you’re my friend.” Locus says softly and Felix grins a bit ruefully. Not exactly the answer he wanted, but accepts for now. He sits back right in his seat, stretching. 

“What about you though? I know you dated a few people… none of them do it for you?” Felix asks, jumping back to the earlier topic of past lovers. Locus makes a thoughtful put upon sound, heavy and slow. “What about Tanya...she was nice, I guess.” Felix looks straight ahead. 

“It wasn’t going anywhere and we both knew it.” Locus says quietly. 

“Oh?” 

“It was just a one night thing. Or. Month, I guess.” Locus explains. They liked each other, but it was purely physical and they both were ok with that when it started. The sex was nice, but it lost it’s charm when there was no real passion between them.. They broke it off laughing amicably. For that he’s thankful. She deserves better than what he could give. 

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” she had asked the last time they had sex. She lounged in one of his shirts on his bed, sharing a tub of ice cream between them. 

“Hm? What are you talking about?” Locus asked. 

Tanya laughed, “Don’t front with me. You know, him. I’ve seen you. How you look at-,” 

“Don’t. Please.” Locus said before she could say his name. Tanya smiled. 

“Why don’t you do anything?” she had asked him while licking her spoon. Locus stared at the opposite wall where his television hung, playing some movie with loud explosions. “You should.” she suggested. 

“No. We’re fine the way we are.” Locus had said quietly, the orange and reds lighting up the room. 

Tanya hummed, “Are you? How long have you…?” 

Locus sensed that she wouldn’t be dropping the subject anytime soon which he supposed was fair. Sometimes he thought about Felix when they fucked. He suspected she thought about someone else too, not that he was offended. They both knew what this was, “It’s always been like this.” he said as if it’s that simple and to him, it is. It’s just always been like this. Stagnant and unmoving and comfortable. Preferable- maybe. 

Tanya looked forward, the hero of the movie sacrificing himself for the greater good. Someone cried on screen. She sighed, resigned but not for herself, “Doesn’t mean it always has to be.” 

Locus blinks. 

A car cuts in front of them and he slows down to accommodate. “That sucks.” Felix says, but he doesn’t sound sorry or anything. Indifferent, mostly. 

Locus shrugs, “She can do better than me anyway.” 

“Who wouldn’t want you?”

_You, maybe._ Locus thinks, but shrugs again, “It doesn’t matter. Hand me a water, please.” he says and reaches out for it. Felix sits up, digs through the bags at his feet and pulls out a small bottle of water for Locus. Their fingers brush again. 

“Are you looking for a relationship?” Felix asks as casually as he can. 

Locus huffs, opening the bottle and drinking half of it in one go. “Are you offering?” Locus asks. 

“What if I was?” Felix challenges. Locus laughs and shakes his head, taking an exit onto a different freeway. Somewhere, the sun starts to rise. The sky turns a pretty soft pink and blue, the stars blinking out for the night. No one says anything, apparently the conversation is done. 

It would annoy Felix if it wasn’t always like this. They get somewhere near the elephant in the room before one of them pretends again to not see it. He wonders if he pushes enough, would they be able to cross this bridge they made? 

He realizes then it’s not that they’re crossing it together from the same side, it’s that they’re trying to meet somewhere in the middle from opposite ends, but one of them is always missing even if they plan it. Felix snorts mentally at himself for such an analogy. 

Another hour goes by with few words exchanged between them which is comfortable and familiar. They get to Adarha an hour earlier than expect. “No traffic,” Locus says as an explanation. 

“‘m tired.” Felix yawns. This makes Locus laugh loudly and shake his head. 

“ _You’re_ the one who dragged _me_ out of bed to pick you up.” 

“You weren’t in bed.” Felix says and he knows it. He doesn’t know Locus was in fact working on a paper, but he knows Locus wasn’t in bed either. 

“No, I wasn’t. Still. _Two in the morning_ Felix.” Locus sighs and stops at a light. It’s another ten minute drive to where he knows Felix wants to go. 

It’s a tall building, one that’s left abandon a long time ago. It’s in pretty good shape and Locus figures someone owns the property to keep the building clean while they still lived here. When they were fifteen, they went exploring within and ended up making a base of sorts on the roof. They’d watched fireworks from there. Sunsets, sunrises, and more. Sometimes they’d camp up on top and if they needed a place to breathe, they’d go to the rooftop and sit. 

It was often the place to go to when one or both of them were suspended from school. Locus has found Felix there on that rooftop on many occasions. It was sort of their own world, one that they never shared with anyone. He knows that’s where Felix wants to be again. Where nothing touched them. 

Locus hasn’t been here in years, ever since he moved away to go to college. He’s not sure if Felix ever comes back, he never asks. 

They both get out of the car once Locus parks. Felix goes ahead first, running to the fence that they used to jump over. Locus isn’t sure if he still could, hasn’t really jumped over anything lately, and to his relief the gate opens easily. Felix fiddles with the chain and lock, rusted and weak with age, and drops it on the gravel as he pushes the fence open for the both of them. They look at each other and shrug, walking in and around the building to where the stairs leading up on the side of the building is. 

Locus lets Felix in first, their feet taking them up to the roof of the building in mutual silence. To their surprise, their old blanket and tent is still there. Neither of them bothered to take it down, it seemed. Felix kicks over the moldy pillow there and laughs at some unspoken memory. 

It’s when they’re both standing near the edge, albeit a safe distance away, watching the sun slowly rise that Locus speaks up first, “Like old times.” he says quietly. 

Felix laughs a bit, sitting down where they are. Next to the dilapidated tent and pillows. He crosses his legs as Locus sits next to him. They’re silent for a few moments. “So I’ve been thinking.” Felix starts. 

“So you’ve said.” 

“Sh, don’t interrupt.” Felix holds a hand up at Locus and smiles. It’s nervous looking though and sits weird on Felix’s face. Locus gives him his whole attention to help ease whatever is unsettling his friend, wondering what Felix will say. He drove him all the way out here when they could have just found some building closer to home and done this. They could have easily had this talk, whatever this is, at Locus’s dorm room as well. Being here, Locus thinks, must mean something. 

“Go on.” Locus prompts. 

Felix breathes in, fingers pulling at the edges of the sleeves of Locus’s jacket. “You know, we’ve been friends for a really fucking long time. Like...you know so much about me and I you.” Felix doesn’t look at Locus when he speaks, just keeps his eyes forward toward the coming dawn. Locus looks at Felix though, watching how the light plays across his face, soft and ethereal. 

“Yes…ten years is a long time. Especially with you.” Locus says, voice light at the end. Felix finally turns to look at him and laughs. 

“I’m trying to be serious here, asshole.” He says and playfully pushes Locus. Locus just smiles. 

“Which is odd in of itself as well, but continue. You made me drive five hours out here, after all.” Locus reminds. 

Felix rolls his eyes, but continues on. “Yeah I just,” Felix licks his lips, “I thought it would feel more significant here, if I said. If we were here.” Felix stumbles over his words which Locus has rarely seen him do. Felix is a master with words, always saying the right things at the right time. Always saying what people want to hear when he feels charitable or manipulating them to think otherwise. It makes Locus's world tilt a bit to see Felix off balance.

Between them, their hands sit a few inches apart. That distance that’s always between them that neither of them want to break. It’s that final stretch, the one Tanya accused him of being too afraid to break. _“Why don’t you do anything?”_ she had asked him. 

Locus blinks. Why doesn’t he? 

_“We’re fine the way we are. It’s always been like this.” he had said._

_“Doesn’t mean it has to be.” she urged._

Locus reaches forward, his fingers catching Felix’s between them and his holds his hand gently, secure. “Go on.” he says quietly. Felix stares at him, words caught in his throat. 

Felix takes a slow breath, “I thought. Why are we like this?” he says and looks down unseeingly at their hands. Locus’s thumb rubs gently over his skin, across his knuckles that are red from when he punched Nic, “We do this- this thing. We sit and just. Watch each other go off with different people and then we come back to each other. Like...we expect that whatever we do is just a short term thing, but us.” Felix shakes his head and snorts. “Listen to me.” he mumbles, “stupid.” 

It’s cracking beneath them, this bridge they’ve built. Felix is pulling his hand away and Locus panics. _No_ he thinks, _not this time._ “It’s not stupid,” he says, holding on to Felix’s hand tighter, “It’s not. I understand.” 

Felix stares up at him and smiles warily, “Do you? I don’t even know what I’m saying. Just. When Nic punched me, you know, I thought ‘not even Locus would punch me’ and I even said it. I said Locus would never do this and Nic said that’s my fucking problem. It’s Locus.” Felix glances away and then back again at him. Though he looks more vulnerable now, hesitant. “It’s you.” 

Locus holds on, searches Felix’s face. He’s never been one for words. It’s just not for him, he’s more of a take action sort of guy. So when he doesn’t say anything back, fear creeps into Felix’s face because the silence has been stretched too long too thin. Felix is opening his mouth to say ‘No, never mind, forget about it.’ Locus pushes forward and meets Felix halfway through this. 

When their lips meet, it’s soft, questioning. Gentle and inquisitive. Felix sighs through his nose and just like that it becomes passion. Locus finds himself crowded with Felix suddenly, his hands on Felix’s hips as Felix kneels between his legs. Felix is cupping his face, kissing him desperately and afraid. Like they’re running out of time when they’ve only just started. 

Locus pulls away first, resting his forehead on Felix’s, “We sat by each other. Not really doing anything,” Felix continues, “and I thought at first that was OK. We’re taking our time, but really we were just wasting time. You know? I’m tired of it.” 

Locus nods, holding Felix close to him. His hands press flat on Felix’s back, careful to touch. He’s not scared, but he is wondering if one wrong move will break whatever is happening. “What… do you want to do? Be? Do you want…?” Locus looks up. He wants to kiss Felix again and wonders if Felix wants that too. 

Felix laughs, still nervous, “Are you asking me out?” 

Locus smiles slowly, “I do everything in this relationship, don’t I?” 

“You love it. You love me. Otherwise you wouldn't have driven five hours out here for me.” Felix jokes. 

Locus pulls Felix down gently. The way Felix speaks, it’s self deprecating. Felix covers any vulnerabilities with sarcasm and wit and Locus has since been disillusioned to that. So he’s honest, “I do. Love you I mean.” He says and the pure surprise that graces Felix’s face is worth it. He kisses him again, slow and steady. They’re learning each other in this new direction, but somehow they seem to know what to do already. How to move, kiss, touch, breathe. 

“God,” Felix pulls away and smiles ruefully, “I can’t fucking believe I made you drive out here to. Ask you out.” he shakes his head. 

Locus hums thoughtfully, “If it’s any consolation, you always do things in the most unnecessary way possible. I expect it, really.” he smiles. 

Felix laughs, head thrown back and he pushes Locus, “Thanks, jerk.” 

Locus shrugs, “I’m just saying, we could have just retired to my dorm. But you’re a romantic.” 

“Am not.” Felix says, but he turns a light pink and Locus laughs. He doesn’t openly laugh often, but he realizes then that when he does it’s mostly always in the presence of Felix and only Felix. People have told him he comes across serious, unapproachable. Which suits him well, he’s focused on his school work than anything else. He is paying for it after all. “But,” Felix goes on, “I suppose you’re right.” 

“I always am, you’ll find.” 

“Shut up, I’m being nice to you. Savor it.” Felix grins. It’s a bit apprehensive and Locus squeezes his hip, “So. Like I was saying, are you asking me out? Or do I have to?" he asks again. 

The sun rises behind Felix, haloing him in orange and pink. He looks nervous. Locus leans forward and kisses Felix again, slow and steady, trying to reassure Felix through actions than words. He knows Felix prefers the former to the latter. 

He opens Felix’s mouth with his own, his tongue sliding in as their lips move and form around each other. It’s exploratory, this kiss. Felix ends up groaning into it, panting as Locus pulls back. 

Locus looks at Felix and licks his lips to savor. He asks quietly so the birds crying in the distance are louder, hiding their confessions, “Will you go out with me?” 

The smile that slowly breaks across Felix’s face is something Locus wants to keep putting there. Again and again, till it’s something permanent, “Fuck yeah.” Felix answers. Locus laughs and kisses him again, pulling him full into his lap

On the five hour drive back home, they sit with their hands held between them.


End file.
